In a cauldron, pour a large can of bloody tomato sauce.
Add five-fingered flesh, seared by torches.
Pour in a can of carrots and a can of potatoes.
Season with spiders.
Serve to your not-so-favorite neighbors.
Cackle afterward.

It’s happened to many of us. We’re driving along, maybe late for class and going too fast or looking for a parking space and not paying attention to how we’re driving. Then we see blue lights flashing behind us. No matter who we are, we get nervous. We may wonder what we did wrong, or we may know. But even if we do know what we did, we don’t all know what to do next.

People tend to love police officers when they need their help and curse them when they get a traffic ticket. But the officer walking toward your car has a job to do, and part of that job is to give tickets to anyone violating traffic laws, which still apply on campus.

Summer can mean so many things to college students. Beach Week. Freedom. Barbeques. Lifeguard jobs at the local pool. And concerts. Oh, yes. Lots of wonderful concerts.

The summer concert season is in full swing with lower ticket prices than previous years to accommodate the state of the economy and the prevailing hesitation many people have about spending money on non-essentials. Several venues in Virginia are only charging $15 to see bands such as Blues Traveler with Carbon Leaf, Travis Tritt and the Motor City Madman himself, Ted Nugent. The June 18 concert of country star Phil Vassar at Celebrate Virginia Live in Fredericksburg costs only $12.50 in advance through TicketsToBuy.com.

Kevin Brosnan, 3-year-old Brooke Duncan of Alexandria and Brooke’s father, Ryan Duncan (with pink hair), smile with joy at the St. Baldrick’s Day fundraiser at Paddy’s Steakhouse & Pub in Stafford on March 14. One reason they are so happy is that, after being treated for neuroblastoma at Inova Fairfax Hospital for Children, Brooke has shown no signs if the disease for several months.

Brooke’s father used to be a NOVA student. The Duncans came to the event to “support to all those still battling.”

The event raised over $25,000 for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation to combat childhood cancer.

A recent job fair at the University of Mary Washington attracted more than 6,000 people and halted traffic on both U.S. 1 and Interstate 95 at the U.S. 17 exit.

Janet Giles of JobZone, which holds job fairs throughout much of Virginia, has reported an increase in the number of job fairs attendees and a decrease in the number of companies that exhibit. She also said she’s been seeing people who have never lost their job before.

InfoComm International, a Fairfax trade association for audiovisual and information communications professionals, is offering students who are studying for a career in the audiovisual field a chance to win scholarships.

The International Communications Industries Foundation, InfoComm’s non-profit foundation, awards scholarships to college students in good standing and majoring in fields such as audio, video, telecommunications, electronics, technical theater, data networking, software development and information technology. ICIF was established because of a growing need for a well-trained workforce.

President Barack Obama came to NOVA’s Alexandria campus on March 30 to sign the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010.
A long line had formed outside the Rachel M. Schlesinger Concert Hall and Arts Center long before doors opened at 9:30 a.m. Inside, the 1,000-seat Mary Collier Baker Theater filled up quickly with students, staff and members of congress.

Compiled by NOVA Fortnightly staff (because we had nothing better to do with our time off)

14 things you should not have done…

Stayed home. WTF?
Worn a Speedo. We don’t care how popular it is in Europe.

The turnout for the seminar was low, with more than half the auditorium left unfilled. Disappointing, said organizers, considering the topic is so important and common. That topic was domestic violence.
Every year Peggy Joy Sullivan comes to the Woodbridge campus of Northern Virginia Community College to teach people about what constitutes domestic violence and what to do about it. Sullivan is the community outreach coordinator for ACTS/Turning Points Domestic Violence Program in Dumfries. She has trained police officers, magistrates, mediators, judges, social workers, school nurses, teachers and counselors.

The city of Washington will celebrate the National Cherry Blossom Festival in its usual fashion, with lots of trees and tourists. The festival is Washington’s signature springtime event and is considered the beginning of tourist season. City officials hope the weather will cooperate. Good weather always brings a sigh of relief to officials, who cross their fingers and hope for pleasant weather and a good turnout each year. With the recession, it’s especially important that tourists spend substantial money, which they’re more likely to do if they’re out and about exploring the city and not inside taking shelter from rain.