Compiled by NOVA Fortnightly staff (because we had nothing better to do with our time off)

14 things you should not have done…

1. Stayed home. WTF?
2. Worn a Speedo. We don’t care how popular it is in Europe.
3. Woken up early and shown up to class. The calendar feature on your cell phone is there to prevent this sort of thing. Use it.
4. Thought your hairy back didn’t need shaving. OMG.
5. Gotten arrested. It’s already hard enough to get a job, although you’ll have quite a story to tell the grandkids someday.
6. Flashed the Girls Gone Wild film crew.
7. Exceeded the speed limit south of the Mason-Dixon Line. (See “gotten arrested.”)
8. Picked up crabs on the beach. You know what we mean.
9. Signed anything that looked like a marriage document.
10. Posted all those embarrassing photos on your Facebook account. Blurry or not, we can tell what you were doing.
11. Blogged the number of shots or hookups you had, especially if your mom, significant other, boss or religious leader can see your updates.
12. Thought that the opposite sex found you attractive. You can upload Photoshopped pix to Facebook, but it doesn’t work in real life. Especially with that Speedo on.
13. Maxed out your credit card on sunless tans and hair extensions before you even left for the trip.
14. Forgotten to get a bikini wax. It’s not the ‘70s, you know.

By: KJ Mushung

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